I have to admit that I have an unnatural aversion towards what can only be described as a ‘first world problem.’ This aversion is closely related to parking and general regard for others. On multiple occasions lately I have come across revamped gas-guzzling cars hastily parked in 2 or 3 parking spaces. Apparently, if you have a larger car, you are welcome to park however you wish. The first example of bad parking happened last week at a sports game. I counted 5 spaces that could not be used do to this parking technique in a full parking lot.
I don’t think these incidents are happening because people can’t park, I just don’t think they care. And to tell you the truth, it is not the act that bothers me so much as the principle. It is for this reason I think it’s time to start up an Association Against Parking in More Than One Parking Space (A.A.P.M.T.O.P.S). The purpose of this association will be to bring awareness about this annoying societal development. As self-designated President of the Association, I suggest putting a letter on the window of each car as well as a bumper sticker. The letter will say something like this:
“Dear Driver, I find your ability to park boorish and unrefined. Please be more considerate of others next time. As a result of the parking offence, your car has been branded with a bumper sticker (think of it like the Scarlett letter and the sticker represents a symbol of your act). Your welcome and sweet dreams. Yours truly, the A.A.P.M.T.O.P.S.”
The various bumper stickers placed on the back of the cars will range depending on severity of parking mismanagement, but some ideas of stickers needed to annoy and dissuade others from re-committing these acts are below.